Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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