dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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