The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i now understand why vodka
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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