69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize