i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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