I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize