I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
