dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize