epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
