you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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