Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
