omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
