Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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