you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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