she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
