Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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