SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
