just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
