no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
