K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
