You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize