Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
