I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
