We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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