So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
