i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
