I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
