never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
