Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
