the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
