apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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