Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize