'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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