I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
