my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize