a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
