My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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