If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
