maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize