they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
