Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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