That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
