So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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