it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
