Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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