This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
