If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
