Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
