she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
