I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
