i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
