omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
