My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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