Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
