I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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