Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How's work?
Spinning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
