I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He called his prostate his "boner button".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
