Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
