I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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