I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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