How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
