Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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