Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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