Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
