Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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