We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
