I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize