apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize