whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
