Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Fuck appropriateness.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
