just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
