she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
