i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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