My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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