totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
